Something to Hold Onto

“New York, New York, It’s a hell of a town, The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down, the people ride in a hole in the ground…”  Sung by Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly in the classic musical, “On the Town.”

 

I ran up the stairs in the Newark Railroad station, taking two at a time to get to the PATH train platform before the next train to mid town pulled out, which would have caused me to wait about fifteen minutes for my next chance to get to 9^th St. where I would continue running to campus so as not to arrive too late for class.

 

I rammed my hard plastic Samsonite briefcase into the subway’s shutting doors and heard someone yell at me, “What are you?  A fucking retard?”  I didn’t waste my time with a response and started looking for something to hold onto.

 

The train lurched forward and I hadn’t taken my subway surfing stance yet.  I bumped into an attractive young woman who immediately called me, “Fucking pervert!”

 

The train took a hard turn and I crashed through someone’s Wall Street Journal.  “Fucking asshole punk!”  He said to me and I tried to right myself again.  I didn’t get my legs entirely until flying around, crashing and thrashing into other commuters.

 

When the train stopped at Christopher Street, I saw the first guy who called me a retard getting off.  I couldn’t hold back my NJ/NY attitude any longer and yelled, “See you later Frank!  Good luck beating that rape charge.”  People stared at him, a few laughed but most just let their mouths drop open.

 

Of course, planning my revenge distracted me from finding a strap to hang on and I didn’t get  into my surfing stance before the train leapt forward and, this time, I didn’t land on a relatively soft human but, rather, hit the floor pretty hard causing a lot of amusement for my fellow commuters. 

 

When we pulled into 9^th St., I had already gotten up and, somewhat embarrassed at my demonstration of a lack of subway skills, I got off and started running to Washington Square.

 

Afterward

 

This is another entry for the daily exercises on the BSO writing club.  I banged it out pretty fast yesterday but hope you find it amusing.  To be upfront about everything, I stole the “Good luck on beating the rape charge…” line from David Sedaris, one of my very favorite writers who attributed it to his sister Amy.

 

 

 

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